OK conservatives, I'll make a deal with you.

The Left will stop 'worshipping' Obama when you lot relieve yourselves of your collective, undying hard on for Reagan.

Deal?

The irony! It burns!

Why is it that religious conservatives (Liberals, Republicans, Fielding...) who continue to say that "the science is out on climate change"-defying the consensus of 2000+ scientists-never apply their skeptical and inquisitive nature to their own religious beliefs? As Field Marshal Editor so brilliantly put:

If only the AGW model was proposed in a collection of 2000-year-old texts of dubious authorship. That way there would be enough evidence.

On hypocrisy.

Ronald Reagan once said "I've noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born." That's quite true (although, technically, we support abortion rights). However, I've noticed that:

• Everybody who opposes stem cell research is neither neurologically diseased nor paralysed.
  
• Everybody who supports war as a first resort has no family members in the army.
• Everybody who opposes equal rights has no idea what it is like to be hated for who you are.
• Everybody who supports free-market principles is already well-off.
• Everybody who doesn't think global warming exists won't be around to see its effects.

You get the idea.

My thoughts on THAT skit

In response to a sketch involving terminally ill children being forced to lower their standards of what they can wish for, the nation has unleashed its collective rage upon the Chaser. My response to the incident is "why is it that a somewhat tasteless sketch draws near-universal outrage, yet spectacular human rights abuses draw near-universal support? WHERE THE FUCK OUR PRIORITIES?? GET A COLLECTIVE LIFE, YOU CIRCLE-JERKING CUNTBAGS."* However, a much better response was in today's Age:

IN THE midst of near-universal condemnation of The Chaser team's skit, it might be worth considering a few things.

A friend who worked for years at the Children's Hospital once told me there were times when it was difficult to get work done — the Good Friday television appeal and the period immediately before an election were particularly worrying. Corridors, waiting areas and bedsides would be crammed with politicians, AFL footballers and media celebrities, along with the inevitable TV cameras, sound equipment and the rest.

Shortly after the Black Saturday fires, members of the Australian cricket team visited the affected areas and mingled with residents, relief workers and others. It was a lump-in-the-throat moment until it was later revealed that the cricketers had been instructed to wear the official team tracksuit, emblazoned with the names of sponsors. In other words, an occasion to bring comfort to victims was also an opportunity to fly the sponsors' flag.

Maybe the Chasers were attempting, in a ham-fisted way, to send up this cynical tendency to take advantage of people in traumatic situations.

An excellent point indeed.

*Hat tips to Sarah for her human rights archives and Club Wah for insult-inspiration.

UPDATE: How is the Make a Realistic Wish Foundation any worse than this? I could equally argue that the skit is a tasteless 'satire' of 21st century slavery; appalling working conditions in third world factories in which employees are often killed because of the lack of safety conditions whilst being paid pennies for their work. The only difference is that one sketch features cute, innocent-looking children.

UPDATE 2: Why is it that if lefties think something is crude and damnable, it's the self-righteous PC police intruding in on our lives, telling us what we can and cannot do, and they should all get a sense of humour-but if it's righties** thinking something is crude and damnable, that's perfectly OK?

**Yes, both lefties and righties have been outraged by the sketch. However, it does appear that more righties are outraged.

"Your feeble irony metres are no match for the power of the Dark Side!"

The Pope: irony meter-destroyer extraordinaire.

Pope Benedict XVI has warned against the misuse of religion for political ends, in a speech to Muslim leaders on the second day of his visit to Jordan.

Speaking in the King Hussein Mosque in Amman, he argued that religion was a force for good, but its "manipulation" caused divisions and even violence.

...

"Some assert that religion is necessarily a cause of division in our world and so they argue that the lesser attention given to religion in the public sphere the better," he said.

"Certainly, the contradiction of tensions and divisions between the followers of different religious traditions, sadly, cannot be denied.

"However, is it not also the case that often it is the ideological manipulation of religion, sometimes for political ends, that is the real catalyst for tension and division, and at times even violence in society?"

I’ve had it up to *here* with Ratzinger’s inanities. There has never been any religious organisation that has abused its power for political purposes as much as the Vatican. From imprisoning scientists who went against its beliefs, masquerading as a country on the world stage, committing genocide against African women through its (and I say, entirely intentional) refusal to upgrade its policies on sexuality beyond the Medieval ages, excommunicating a girl who had an abortion OTHERWISE SHE WOULD DIE, condoning the state-sanctioned execution of gays and of course, for decades protecting pedophiles from being prosecuted and deliberately allowing children to be abused, so long as nobody knew about it.

Because that’s what dictatorships* do-they do everything possible to retain and expand their power. Suppressing opposition (maybe that’s there Burma got the idea from), increasing its influence through the UN, enacting policies to producing the maximum number of Catholics regardless of who dies in the process, ruling through fear and threat of exclusion, and protecting its own matter what. The sooner the Vatican goes the way of past dictatorial empires, the better.

Hat tip to Stupid Evil Bastard.

*One man, with absolute power, who rules until death ...come on. Tell me that that isn’t a dictatorship.

When you die, say hi to the horned one for me.

If anything else is needed to prove the fundamental vileness of the Vatican, it's this.

A CATHOLIC archbishop has sparked controversy in Brazil by saying the mother of a nine-year-old girl who had an abortion on Wednesday following a rape is automatically excommunicated for allowing the procedure to go ahead.

Archbishop José Cardoso Sobrinho of Olinda and Recife also declared that according to canon law the doctor who performed the abortion is considered excommunicated, along with anyone else involved.

The child was raped by her stepfather, who has since admitted abusing her over the last three years. Abortion is generally illegal in Brazil but allowed in cases of rape or when the pregnancy endangers the mother’s life.

The child entered hospital in the northeastern city of Recife on Tuesday night, where she was given medication to interrupt the pregnancy, which doctors said was terminated by early Wednesday morning. She was pregnant with twins.

The archbishop’s statements have drawn condemnation from Brazilian politicians and caused disquiet among some theologians concerned by the difficulties raised by the case.

But Archbishop Cardoso Sobrinho has denied media reports that he personally ordered the excommunications. “I simply recalled what is in church canon law. Excommunication is automatic for those who participate in an abortion. I did not excommunicate anyone, just remembered the church’s law which says they are automatically excommunicated,” he said.

Before the abortion was carried out the archdiocese’s lawyers threatened to charge the mother with homicide, citing the Brazilian constitution’s guarantee to the right to life.

The doctor who carried out the procedure has defended his actions. “If the pregnancy had continued, the damage would have been worse, being a high risk pregnancy. The risk would have been of death or at the very least that she would never have been able to become pregnant again,” Dr Olímpio Moraes told O Globo newspaper.

“There are two legal justifications for abortion envisioned by the law, which are rape and risk to life. She [the girl] falls within the two and, as a doctor, I could not let a girl of nine years be submitted to this suffering and even pay with her own life.”

But Archbishop Cardoso Sobrinho has dismissed the fact that the abortion was legal under Brazilian law as irrelevant to the question of excommunication. “God’s law is above whatever human law. So when a human law is contrary to God’s law, this human law has no value,” he said.

The archbishop made clear that the excommunication did not extend to the young girl at the centre of the case. Archbishop Cardoso Sobrinho is a leading member of the Brazilian Catholic Church’s conservative wing and a firm opponent of abortion which he calls a “silent holocaust”.

And some more from the SMH:

The operation - carried out on Wednesday because of doctors' fears the slender girl might die if she carried the foetuses to term - was a crime in the eyes of the church, he said.

"God's law is above any human law. So when a human law ... is contrary to God's law, this human law has no value," Cardoso told the news television network Globo.

"The adults who approved, who carried out this abortion, will be excommunicated," said the archbishop for the Recife region.

[my emphasis]

Cardoso, I know that this is just a little girl we're talking about-because, hey, you really aren't all for equal gender rights-but she is 9 years old and pregnant. I don't know about you, but a 9/10 year old girl giving birth probably won't do a lot of good for her emotional health. Not only that, but if she gives birth, she'll almost certainly die, which kinda goes against your 'pro-life' mantra. Not that you'd care, given that the Vatican is totally opposed to anything more progressive them a Middle Ages approach to reproductive health.

You're supposed represent love and compassion-where the fuck have you shown that? Where's the compassion and mercy for a little girl has been raped for years on end, whose emotional trauma would rival that of a Holocaust survivor? You talk about reproductive health measures denying the littlest children the right to life-how exactly does that stand with a child risking death from pregnancy? Is a clump of stem cells more important then a human being that can think, feel and be hurt? Hell, how does that work with celibacy?! Just how many littlest children have you denied life to?

I'll bet you're all so glad you changed those theological abortion laws (how does that work anyway? Does it mean that past Popes were wrong on the issue? If so, doesn't it mean that this Pope could be wrong?) to further oppress women. What Else Would Jesus Do?

I also note that you've excommunicated the doctors and the mother, but neither the girl nor the step-father. I assume that as far as you're concerned, the girl is being forced to have abortion against her will*. Hey, have you even for a moment considered what the girl wants? Did you ever consider-even for a second-that she might want to simply try piece her life back together, with even a hint of normality? Given that she will otherwise die, I'm willing to bet my internal organs that she wouldn't want to be giving birth at 10. Of course, in your reality, a pair of fetuses that can cannot think or feel or do anthing take priority over a girl who can feel, be traumatised, have aspirations, feel for others and in general be more of a human then you and the rest of you twisted sycophantic rapist-coddlers could ever hope to be. (hell, a fucking zygote is more human then you)
And the step-father, you haven't even mentioned him in your list of excommunications. Why not? Doesn't child-rape count as a sin as well? (actually...don't answer that. I don't wanna hear it)

And then the Vatican has the utter gall to claim so much as a hint of moral superiority in the world.

I'll add this to the list.

On a final note: Cardoso rants on about God's law being all important; what I can't understand is that if abortion is so morally wrong, why do at least 25% of all pregnancies end in a miscarriage? I'd love to see a Bishop answer that with a straight face.

*Which, if it were true, would be equally horrific. If it were true.

UPDATE @ 1250 8/3/09: Darn, forgot to show cross postings here and here.

Also here and here.

Tool of the Year 2008

First of all-apologies to anybody who reads this blog. For the past two weeks I've been doing surveillance work down at Lorne, to see if a barracks can be built without the knowledge of the civilians (long answer short: yes, but only if the civilians are comatose or dead).

But now, onto life:
GrodsCorp is running an 'UnAustralian of the Year' contest. Captain Lefty has already given us his views. Personally, I can't decide who'd be U.A.Y. - however, I do know who'd make 'Tool of the Year.'

A beaming, theocratic chappy who runs by the title of General Fred 'Randall' Nile.

Here why:

Conservative MP Fred Nile says he wants topless bathing banned in NSW to protect Sydney's Muslim and Asian communities.

...

"Our beaches should be a place where no one is offended, whether it's their religious or cultural views," he said.

That General Nile opposes topless sunbathing is irrelevant to his tooliness. What matters it that he is citing potentially offended Muslims as the reason for supporting the bill. For those in the dark on Aussie Fundies, Nile has, in the past:

- called for Muslims to banned from entering the country.

- displayed an inability to comprehend acts of evil perpetrated by non-Muslims.

- shown total ignorance of the hypocrisy for stating that Australian laws should be based on the Bible, but not on the Qur'an.*

Hence, I nominate Fred Nile as Tool of the Year 2008 for actually believing that he could get away with pretending to care about Muslims' sensibilities.

FDB! also comments on the General.

*if that sentence sounds like I want Sharia Law in Australia, I'll clarify: I don't want any religious laws anywhere.

Effeminate Nazis...

...where would we be without you?

The religious right and lying.

In response to this, Terry Wright wrote: "Great to see God's children lying out their arse." Which sent me thinking: what makes the fundies lie? It's one of the 10 Commandments-you'd think theocrats who want the 10C in front of every public building would make sure to obey them.

And on a related note: what is it with fundies and blatant hypocrisy? Jesus was clear he didn't approve of that:

1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

If that isn't a total condemnation of all hypocrisy, then nothing is.

Certainly, the greatest example of a fundie hypocrite is Randall Terry. The story is this: Terry is a real 'pro-family' kinda guy. Wife, 3 kids etc. Very outspoken of his conservative family values, going as far as to write in The Judgement of God that "Families...are destroyed as a father vents his mid life crisis by abandoning his wife for a 'younger, prettier model." So what does he do? Divorces his wife and marries his secretary, almost 20 years younger then him*. You couldn't imagine hypocrisy that brilliant.

So, after several minutes of thought and googling, I've come up with two thought processes that fundies use to justify lying and hypocrisy. They are: the Messiah Complex and the Persecution Complex.

Common to just about every fundie, the Persecution Complex is the belief that you are being persecuted for who you are (in most fundies' cases, it's because of their Christian faith). Pat Robertson pretty much summed it up with this comedy gold:

Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.

Couldn't've put it better myself. Despite every President being a Christian, every Congressman (except for the Hindu and the Muslim) being Christian and about 4/5ths of the entire population being Christian...Pat, his cronies and fundies in general are under the belief that they are being persecuted by the media and the gays.

The Messiah Complex is a person's delusion that they are a 'saviour' for a community of people, and have a special destiny to save said people. Although fundies usually don't have this trait to a tremendous degree, it would in part create the arrogance and "I'm, right, you're wrong, end of story" thought process that is seen in fundies.

So what happens when these two Complexes come together in unHoly Matrimony? It's simple: the belief that you are totally right in every possible way, because you believe in the Almighty God. Because you believe in this God, you are being persecuted. It doesn't take a great leap in logic to then think "these people (who are pure, absolute evil, BTW) are denying the absolute inherency of the Bible. They are denying the Truth of Jesus and God, etc." From there, fundies believe that in order to create their perfect country (free of feminism, gays, atheism and science) God will permit them to lie and be general hypocrites, because the ends (fundie utopia) will justify the means. Certainly, Terry has taken this thought process to its logical conclusion:

"Let a wave of intolerance wash over you. I want you to let a wave of hatred wash over you. Yes, hate is good.... If a Christian voted for Clinton, he sinned against God. It's that simple.... Our goal is a Christian Nation... we have a biblical duty, we are called by God to conquer this country. We don't want equal time. We don't want Pluralism. We want theocracy. Theocracy means God rules. I've got a hot flash. God rules."

Clearly when Jesus said to love your neighbour, even love you enemies, that was clearly a secret coding for mindless hatred instead.

Ok, that's my idea anyway: that a combination of extreme arrogance in their monopoly over the truth, along with their belief that they are being persecuted, has led Christian American fundies to believe that lying and hypocrisy is fine if it suits their theocratic agenda. Any other ideas?


*For the record, for the most part I'm opposed to a person's private life being used as a political football. The whole "OMG KEVIN RUDD WENT TO A STRIP CLUB HE HATES FAMILIES WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!1!!1!!!!!" was very annoying. However, if somebody's personal life and values are contradicted by their public life and values (such as with Terry), then there's a genuine point to be made. If you can't uphold yourself to certain morals, then don't espouse those morals to the public.

Wasn't Jesus just as wealthy?

In just over a week, the Pope will arrive in Sydney. From my brief reading of the Pope and Catholicism in wikipedia, this is a rather ironic description:

The Church looks to the Pope, currently Benedict XVI, as its highest human authority in matters of faith, morality and Church governance.^[7]

(my emphasis)

It may be a good time to reflect of what Jesus himself (assuming that he existed) thought of wealthy hypocrites:

Matthew 19:23-24 - 23Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

Matthew 23:1-36 23"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cummin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. 24You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.
25"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
27"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. 28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
29"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous. 30And you say, 'If we had lived in the days of our forefathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.' 31So you testify against yourselves that you are the descendants of those who murdered the prophets. 32Fill up, then, the measure of the sin of your forefathers!

Luke 14:11- 11For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

And this is how the Pope himself likes to dress:


I hope ol' Benny enjoys the lake of fire, because if this is any indication, that's where he's going.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Don't'ja hate it when you think of a great comment for a blog post, but the post is almost a month old, so you look like a real knob if you put a comment up? Well, I hate it, anyway.
We all remember the Jeeves moment:

[The coalition] accused Kevin Rudd of employing a butler to shine his shoes and lay out his clothes when he is on the road.

But Mr Rudd’s office decried the “cheap political attack”, insisting the staffer was an executive assistant whose primary job was to manage paperwork and schedules.

Victorian Liberal senator Michael Ronaldson demanded of Special Minister of State John Faulkner: “How many working families have a butler?”

To which blogger and GrodsThinker Field Marshal Editor rightly replied:

The man is the Prime fucking Minister of the fucking country for fuck’s sake! If the head of this country’s government didn’t have staff to assist with work and home matters I’d be worried. If Kevin Rudd (or John Howard before him, for that matter) had time to do mail merges in the office or wash dishes at home I’d accuse him of not doing his job properly. Why must we smear as out of touch any person who is not a member of these mythical “working families”, doing it tough and battling to buy groceries?

Tonight as I was swimming, I spontaneously realised that if Rudd didn't have an assistant, we'd be hearing Brendoc's rendition of the Cate Blanchett test:

If Mr. Rudd has time to wash the dishes and walk the dog every night, then he should have time to tell pensioners, when he's forcing them to live on a pittance, why he's refusing to cut the petrol tax.

We know it's true. It's just a darn shame we can't check out the alternate universe where this happened.

UPDATE 6/08/08: From Captain "Hedgehog" Tobias, I've discovered a newspaper that is more right wing then the Herald Sun. I was shocked too.