Super fun happy lucky Higgins by-election candidate summery!

Yesterday, most of the Higgins candidates meet with a few community members, who answered various questions regarding climate change. Party-wise, there was the Sex Party, the Greens and One Nation, whilst several Independents spiced up the evening with their zaniness. Disappointingly, Kelly ‘Runner-up in the Bronwyn Bishop lookalike contest’ O’Dwyer, John ‘familyfamilyfamily’ Mulholland of the DLP and Isaac ‘fight tha power!’ Roberts of the Liberal Democrats weren’t there. In hindsight, that's probably a good thing, as Kelly and a certain anarchist Independent would've probably killed each other.

Fiona Patten, Australian Sex Party:
Excellent. Presented herself extremely well, stating that she was no expert and relied on the climatologists to tell her what was going on. Was very friendly and approachable (I even got to talk to her! **squeals like a six year old**). 9/10.

David Collyer, Australian Democrats:
Fine representative for the Dems. During one of his speeches, made a statement along the lines of “If the scientists are wrong, then we’ve merely pushed for green living earlier than we would have. If the scientists are right, then we only have on chance at this” which was brilliant. Only problem was that he quite often referred to Democrats’ green successes in the past (such as on the Franklin River), which came across as mildly wanky. 8/10.

Steve Raskovy, One Nation:
It took a while to get over the thought of a Hungarian refugee standing for One Nation, but he did a decent job on climate issues. Only problem was that he took a while to actually answer questions, which grew rather annoying. Delivered one of my favourite quotes for the night-“Water is the blood of the earth.” 7/10.

Joseph Toscano, Independent
Anarchist and self-proclaimed “radical”, was popular in his often snarky attitude (such as referring to Steve Murphy, a climate change sceptic as a “flat-earther”). Gave some excellent remarks, such as, regarding the coal industry’s free carbon credits, “People are compensated for doing the right thing. Coal companies are the only thing in the world which are compensated for doing the wrong thing!” Humourously, got on extremely well with ideologically-opposed One Nation's Steve. 8.5/10.

Steve Murphy, Independent:
To give Steve credit, he came to a climate change forum knowing that he would be extremely unpopular (if not lynched). Understandably, he was usually on the defence, but did a reasonable job at defending his policies, despite the constant jeering he suffered. 7.5/10.

Clive Hamilton, Australian Greens:
Ironically, out of all the candidates, I remember Clive's performance the least. However, I can’t remember anything terrible he said, and he cleared up the Holocaust comments from an article in Crikey, which I feel was important (given that the comments, wrongly interpreted, did sound very extreme). 8.2/10.

Peter Brohier, Independent:
There’s no way this guy isn’t a cover for the CEC. 2/10.

And that's a wrap. Chances are, I'll be voting 1. Greens, 2. Democrats, 3. Sex Party, 4. Joseph, 5. Liberal Dems, 6. Peter, 7. Liberals, 8. DLP, 9. One Nation and 10. Steve.

OK conservatives, I'll make a deal with you.

The Left will stop 'worshipping' Obama when you lot relieve yourselves of your collective, undying hard on for Reagan.

Deal?

What's wrong with a little mob rule?

Just when you thought raw Labor incompetence had pushed all swing voters (briefly) into the Liberal camp, the coalition still manages to fuck it up. This time, Ted and co have gone into popularist meltdown, directly appealing to mob mentality by allowing juries to determine sentences.

There isn't much for me to write on this subject, given that Captain Lefty has done all the work for me*. Even so, this isn't so much as shocking policy (which I'll get to) as it is what I call 'base populism.' That is, a political party will adopt a populist policy that appeals to a person's basest instincts; in this case, brutal vengeance. This is a clear sign that Vic Libs are as adrift now as they were ten years ago. Instead of designing a political platform to challenge Labor (paradoxically both easy and hard, given Labor's current incompetence, and that the political differences between the two parties are wafer-thin), Ballieu has gone for the easiest option of appealing to an angry mob.

And now for the policy itself: this is some serious FAIL. The types of Australians who make up juries (myself included) have very little idea of how sentences are determined. Certain parallels can be drawn to the Queensland Libnats and their idea of allowing volunteers to work with the mentally ill. That is, people who don't have the proper qualifications would be put in situations where you need proper qualifications in order to properly handle said situation.

Here, a 'race to the top' of ridiculously harsh sentences is inevitable. Judges are under pressure to increase sentences, lest they be branded as 'out of touch' and 'soft on crime' by the media barons that be. As Captain Lefty has pointed out, News Ltd readers have an exceptionally poor knowledge of what sentences actually constitute-as far as they are concerned, anything less than life imprisonment in an Indonesian jail is getting off scott free. And I'm willing to bet my fictional fighter plane that life imprisonment in the closest Australia has to an Indonesian jail is exactly what these uninformed juries would advocate for.

Jeez, Ballieu, I know that between John Hewson and Jeff Kennett, Liberals are terrific at losing unloseble elections (not that I'm complaining), but they've always done it by accident. There's no need to try to lose next years election; the factions will do that for you.

*Wordpress would be much less of a pain in the arse if clicking on a tag took you to a list of that blog's posts under that tag, not the entire-fucking-ty of wordpress itself.

“Give them enough rope and they’ll hang themselves.”

I first read that quote in Naughty Stories for Good Boys and Girls, although it applies equally well for racist politicians trying to enter the mainstream debate. Enter Nick “...immigration...is destroying this and every other white nation in the world” Griffin, Grand High Wizard of the KKK British National Party.

Recently, Griffin appeared on Question Time, a BBC panel show featuring political figures from across the spectrum. During the show, he made various hilarious statements-most notably, that the Ku Klux Klan is "non-violent" and that he does “not have a conviction for Holocaust denial.”

That quote exposes the problem for the Fuhrer and his party; that they are fundamentally too extreme. The reason for the BNP’s increased vote is due to widespread disillusion at the major parties (Labour, Conservatives, Liberal Dems) and the extensive corruption that their MPs have shown. Hence, the increased support for the BNP is more of a protest vote than anything else. But when Nick goes on national television and gives openly sympathises with one of the most infamous white supremacist organisations in history, that create serious problems of allegiance for all BNP voters outside of the hatecore bonehead supporters.

Nick, in his Holocaust statement was clearly trying to have his cake and eat it too: not explicitly denying the Holocaust, but still sending a message to the Brownshirts watching at home that he’s still a died-in-the-wool anti-Semite. The BNP, when previously quizzed on its openly neo-Nazi views, stated that, its political ideals have shifted over time and that the Party is more moderate than before (see point vii). Statements such their leader, however, expose how superficial Nick’s shift to the centre is.

That's why I think giving the BNP this sort of publicity is needed, as it exposes the Party for what it is: a front for neo-Nazism. Gordon Brown stated “We’ve got a duty to expose the BNP for what are racist and sectarian politics.” I agree entirely; give Nick enough time on air, and the BNP’s support will implode harder than One Nation (although hopefully for different reasons).

Mr. 1.9%: the Senate's village idiot.

Steve Fielding doesn't like Greens. I have an impressive collection of articles in which Mr. Morality launches childish attack after childish attack, each of which is unsatirable* in its petty partisanship and amateurism. The Bongmeister, however, has come to the conclusion that these past works are too subtle for his Christian base. Thus, Stevie has dropped all flimsy pretenses of professionalism and gone for the lowest, crudest and downright laughable smear he can imagine:

GREENS’ PLAN ECONOMICALLY LAUGHABLE, FOOLISH AND LUDICROUS

Says the fellow who's sole economic policy consists of cutting the petrol tax. I know Steve lives in the 14th Century, but that's no excuse for not using the caps lock hey.

The Greens would rather send Australia back to the Stone Age than use common sense in negotiating on an Emissions Trading Scheme, Family First Leader Senator Steve Fielding said today.

“I don’t know what planet the Greens are on, but by the look of their ‘Safe Climate Bill’ they look like they're lost in space,” Senator Fielding said.

I don't know what Steve was gunning for with those space puns-it's not like NASA is involved. Anyway, the rest of the piece is utterly juvenile-calling Bob and co. "hippies" and sloppy accusations of hypocrisy-by using planes, no less. I don't know how Greens Senators are supposed to travel in a less gas-emitting way, given that planes are a form of public transport. I presume Fielding also think Bob is a hypocrite because he emits carbon emissions by breathing.

But seriously, I can't understand what Steve expect to gain from schlock like this. Anyone even considering voting Green is sufficiently left-wing as to dismiss Fundies First as a group of fringe nutters, and vice-versa for FF voters. If anything, Steve is alienating what incomprehensibly tiny support base he has by acting like like such a jerk. Compare this release to what freshman/woman Senators Ludlam and Hanson-Young have produced. These political youngens have only been in Parliament since July 2008, yet they have displayed a political professionalism that completely outstripes Steve (and most major party backbenchers as well, to be honest). The Fluke is a child in a grownups' world: he stumbled into the Senate through luck and Labor's cynicism, was irrelevent from 04 to 07, and, now having been thrust into the balance-of-power limelight, has demonstrated that he hasn't a clue in parliamentary processes. Steve knows that he has barely a hope of re-election on primary votes-barely being the operative word-and has resorted to stunt after stunt in the vain hopes that he will increase the visability of his party enough to scrap in a re-election.

I, like all groupthing lefties, simply cannot wait for the 2010 election. Asides from an anti-Greens propaganda overdrive from all parties (which will be a joy to read, I can assure you all), Rudd has shown that he is a skilled and shrewd politician. The likelihood of Labor preferencing the Fundies in 2010 is infinitesimal, especially how much Steve has pissed Kevin off (Medicare levies, alcopops taxes and luxary car taxes, anybody?). Labor is a right-wing government, but Rudd knows that the Greens are a better deal than Steve, and that's where Labor's 2010 preferences will be heading. To humbly quote Field Marshall Editor: Steve: you and your Pentecostal mates are headed for the political dustbin of history and no stunt on Earth is going to save you. Perhaps when you fail to get re-elected in a couple of years you could work for Today Tonight.

Cross-posted at Officer Cadet Orville Strayan.

Various article goodies found here, here and here.

*That's a word, OK?

Selective outrage

All of a sudden, Australia is now considered a racist country (I'd have thought it was more to do to with anti-immigration hysteria, cronulla, camdem etc, but apparently not). It's due to a skit on Hey Hey it's Saturday, featuring five people dressed in blackface (and one in whiteface) portraying the Jackson5. Blackface, for the uninformed, is historically a highly racist form of humour using black stereotypes to grab some cheap laughs from the audience. In this case, of course, the outrage is laughable. Of course they're going to paint their faces black! They're pretending to be black singers! What are they supposed to do-go onstage in afros and pasty white skin? How crap would that look? Sometimes, it feels like Oz is adopting all the worst traits from all the other Western countries-the hard-right racism of the US, yet also the uptight-PCness of Britain. Gawd, now that's embarrasing.

And you know what? For all the outrage and horror, everybody seems to have missed this:



What's wrong? Not outragable enough?

T to the A to the P: the second heterosexual edition

Because hiatus is no reason for a good sex post.

Ladies seem to get a poor run on this blog. It’s rather ironic, given that I’m straight(ish), that there are (as of this post) two dolls to six dudes. But there is a surprisingly simple explanation for the lack of chicks; namely, that photos of the honeys tend to be rather dull. It’s just bikini shot after bikini shot after bikini shot. Not that I’m necessarily complaining, but I wouldn’t mind a touch of variety when viewing various sexy dames. Thus, when broads do get a mention on Dogfighter, I prefer to focus on more stereotypically ‘artistic’ shots of lassies (much to Colonel Jester’s chagrin, I’m sure). If you want photos of skirts in very little other than a skirt, Goggle Images will gladly satisfy your perverted desires. But anyway; this time, I’ll be showing on Jessica ‘Joy’ Alba. She is most well known for roles in Dark Angel, Sin City and the Fantastic Four. But who cares, ‘cause I just wikied her and she’s a freakin’ liberal!