So what do the fundies think of liberals?

Asides from hating us, I mean. If you're like me and enjoy the comedy gold that resides in Conservapedia (did you know that Barack HUSSEIN Obama was both an Muslim and an atheist? You will after reading our fallacy-proof journalism!), you may have seen their checklist to spot a liberal.

A liberal is someone who rejects logical

7 words in, and already my irony meter's been blown.

and biblical standards,

Except for all those liberal Christians.

often for self-centered reasons. There are no coherent liberal standards; often a liberal is merely someone who craves attention, and who uses many words to say nothing.

OK, we've had a jolly laugh at conservapedia's perception of us. But now onto the checklist.

A liberal supports many of the following political positions and practices.

- Taxpayer-funded and/or legalized abortion

Yes, because there shouldn't be a correlation between a woman's wealth and her right to privacy.

- Censorship of teacher-lead prayer in classrooms and school sponsored events

Well, it is unconstitutional.

- Support for gun control

Quite right. So far, con'pedia is actually doing quite well in describing our positions.

- Support of obscenity and pornography as a First Amendment right^[1]

Again, liberals usually see sexual rights as an extension of the rights to free speech, press and privacy.

- Income redistribution, usually through progressive taxation

Yup, that's us! This is getting rather boring-where is the craziness usually associated with con'pedia?

- Government-rationed medical care, such as Universal Health Care
- Taxpayer-funded and government-controlled public education

I honestly can't see how anybody could be against those above ideas. A person's right to decent health care and a child's right to a adequate education should not be based on wealth. It's compassion 101. Also, see here for education specifically.

- The denial of inherent gender differences

Ladies and gentlemen, we have just entered Jebus County, Texas. Above, you will see the farmers constructing a strawman. Moving on, we will a wormhole that will take us to the 1950's.

- Insisting that men and women have the same access to jobs in the military

And that concludes our brief trip through Jebus County. Breathe deeply while you can; the bus will be U-turning soon and we will only briefly see some sanity.

- Legalized same-sex marriage
- Implementation of affirmative action
- Political correctness
-Support of labor unions

I hope you enjoyed the brief respite from fundieism. Returning through Jebus County, you will see below that the farmers have constructed their strawman, and are currently filling it with all excerpts of "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour" they've removed from their Bibles.

- Teaching acceptance of promiscuity through sexual "education" rather than teaching abstinence from sex.^[2]

If you check your field maps, you will see the truth. Moving on, we will see Southern lawyers trying to relegalise slavery and strip women of property.

- A "living Constitution" that is reinterpreted as liberals prefer, rather than how it was intended

Thus concludes our field trip through Jebus County. We will return soon, though, so tell your friends about it. Finally, we will take a trip through a moderately Blue Texan street.

- Government programs to rehabilitate criminals
- Abolition of the death penalty
- Environmentalism^[3]
- Disarmament treaties
- Globalism
- Opposition to an interventionalist [sic] American foreign policy ^[4]
- Opposition to full private property rights^[5]
- Reinstating the Fairness Doctrine
- In 2005, it was reported by CBS News that liberals were the most likely supporters of the theory of evolution. The theory of evolution is a key component of atheistic ideologies in the Western World.
- Opposition to domestic wire-tapping as authorized in the Patriot Act

...with one exception.

Calling anyone they agree with a "professor" regardless of whether he earned that distinction based on a real peer review of his work (see, e.g., Richard Dawkins and Barack Obama).

Weird-I've only ever heard Obama being referred to as "Senator," "Democrat Nominee," "Presumptive Nominee," "Presidential Candidate," "President-elect," and "President." Still, I shouldn't be surprised.

This is also my 20th post that relates to fundies. We seem to exist in a symbiotic relationship: they need us (by 'us' I mean 'liberals') to generate anti-family, pro-sodomy, feminazi outrage that will fill their coffers, and I need them because otherwise my blog would feature little else but digital tumbleweeds. Sick, really.