Private takes on the fundies.

Ever heard of Fundie Watch? It's a blog that, as the title hints, examines the toxic hate the fundies write on their various websites. This post was done almost a month ago, but I think it's worth reposting here, as it shows what kind of lunacy exists in the world.

Fundie Thinks Gays Will Cause God to Exterminate the World

As you may have heard, California has ruled that same-sex marriage is unconstitutional and that the gays can get married. Which has the fundies pissed off to no end. After all, what the point of religion if it doesn't give you a theological excuse to hate minorities?*

How same-sex marriage points to end of the world

I guess the “seducing our children” argument was being recognised for the homophobic idiocy it was.

What do May 17, 2004, and May 15, 2008, have in common? One judge and a redefinition of marriage against the will of the people.

Don’t forget May 17, 1954. It may not have involved one judge (being a unanimous vote) but I’m pretty sure most of America was against the Brown v. Board of Education verdict.

Both the Massachusetts Superior Court and the California Supreme Court by a one-judge margin redefined what marriage has always been in every culture and every religion for more than 5,000 years of recorded history.

Really? Every country and every religion? I thought there was something in the Bible about not lying. In parts of Africa and the Middle East, polygamy is common, so there goes your “every culture” argument. Even restricted to the America, it’s only been 41 years since Loving v. Virginia, which legalised interracial marriage. So, actually, Folger, marriage is an evolving and ever-changing concept that differs between cultures.

Why does this matter?

It doesn’t.

As I wrote about in my book, "The Criminalization of Christianity," Jeffrey Satinover, who holds an M.D. from Princeton and doctorates from Yale, MIT and Harvard, was on my radio program one day and I asked him about where we are in history. He explained that according to the "Babylonian Talmud" – the book of rabbis' interpretation of the scriptures 1,000 years before Christ, there was only one time in history that reflects where we are right now. There was only one time in history, according to these writings, where men were given in marriage to men, and women given in marriage to women.

The fact that you wrote a book about Christianity being ‘criminalised’ shows just how much of a psychotic wing-nut you actually are. But, being the nice guy I am, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt with your final sentence.

Want to venture a guess as to when? No, it wasn't in Sodom and Gomorrah, although that was my guess. Homosexuality was rampant there, of course, but according to the Talmud, not homosexual "marriage." What about ancient Greece? Rome? No. Babylon? No again. The one time in history when homosexual "marriage" was practiced was … during the days of Noah. And according to Satinover, that's what the "Babylonian Talmud" attributes as the final straw that led to the Flood.

I knew the benefit of the doubt was a bad idea, Lady, if you’re gonna talk about history, the least you could do would be to TALK ABOUT HISTORY THAT ACTUALLY EXISTED. Came back with some scientific, empirical evidence that a) there was enough water to conceivably flood (almost) the entire planet, b) two of every animal could be systematically collected within a lifetime, c) a ship could also be built within that same lifetime to hold two of such every animal, d) there is enough food (also gathered within this lifetime) to feed these animals for 40 days and 40 nights, e) a dove can physically fly over 30 miles across the sea (the horizon is about 30 miles from where you stand at sea level. That dove must be able to across the horizon to find land and back, assuming it was able to feed and rest), f) this land had the proper environmental conditions to hold two of every animal, and g) that there were no problems with inbreeding. If you can do that, I’ll consider that the story of Noah and his ark might have existed.

On my Faith2Action radio program on Thursday, Rabbi Aryeh Spero verified this to be true.

Rabbi Spero spoke of God's compassion before the Flood, in hopes people would repent and turn back to His ways. He showed patience for hundreds of years.

But, he said, the Talmud's writings reveal that "before the Flood people started to write marriage contracts between men, in other words, homosexual 'marriage,' which is more than homosexual activity – it's giving an official state stamp of approval, a sanctification … of homosexual partnership."

Cite, please. In fact, I’ll allow a biblical reference that says that gay marriage was allowed.

In fact, he said, "the writings indicated that it wasn't even so much the 'straw that broke the camel's back,' but that the sin in and of itself is so contrary to why God created the world, so contrary to the order of God's nature, that God said then and there 'I have to start all over … to annihilate the world and start from the beginning. …'"

So God almost destroyed all of mankind not because of murder or rape, or anything of moral significance. He did it because people were attracted to others of the same sex. Even though this meant killing thousands of innocent people who did nothing wrong (i.e. they could kill and maim, but just not be butt-fuckers and rug-munchers, because that was so much worse), because logically speaking, if the entire world was committing this sin, then humanity would die anyway and God would be wasting his energy. What an asshole.

Rabbi Spero went on to say, "Even in ancient Greece they did not write marriage contracts between men. There was homosexuality, and it was wrong, but there was not an official 'blessed' policy. … Marriage is 'sanctification' (not simply a partnership)." He said to confer the title of sanctification and holiness upon this behavior is "probably one of the greatest sins of all that one does against God's plan for this world."

Yup, we’ve all signed up for ‘God’s plan’ even if we don’t want any part of it. This plan also apparently means exterminating Jews, the genocide in Sudan, tin-pot dictatorships all over the world…I’m seriously struggling with the idea that your God, assuming it exists, has any plan for us.

The one time it happened was: "During the days of Noah." When I first heard this, my mind immediately went to a verse I've heard many times but never with such relevance. The verse is found in Matthew 24:37. It reads:
As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. – Mathew 24:37 (NIV)

I used to read this verse and think: It was bad at lots of points in history; it doesn't necessarily mean now, but if these Jewish writings are true, we are uniquely like the "days of Noah" right now – and only right now.

You still haven’t shown any evidence that gay marriage was around in the days of Noah.

But it can't be yet, you say. You have a lot going on in your life? You're getting married? Here's how the New Living Translation describes that very sentiment in Luke:

When the Son of Man returns, the world will be like the people were in Noah's day. In those days before the Flood, the people enjoyed banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat, and the flood came to destroy them all. – Luke 17:26-27

Like I said before, people doing nothing wrong but had to die before their loving God anyway.

Happily going about as if everything was fine was what they did, too.

You don't like this possibility? Don't even believe in the Flood? Doesn't matter. Some things are true whether you believe them or not. How can you be sure? There's a way. Did you know that about one-fourth of the Bible is prophecy? A quarter of the Bible is a lot – it's a big book. And did you know God's standard? Perfection. That means that if even one of those prophecies is wrong, you can discount the whole thing. Kind of like a prophet who makes a false prediction – that made him a false prophet and a candidate for stoning. Did you know that 4,000 prophecies in that Bible have already come true down to the last detail? That leaves about 1,000 left to be fulfilled – those are the ones regarding the last days before the return of Christ, which are being checked off the list right now.

“Some things are true whether you believe them or not.” My irony meter didn’t just exploded. It went into a Chernobyl-style meltdown that has contaminated the surrounding area and left no chance of recovery (a good thing too, if I have to keep reading this tripe). But honestly-the last 2/3 of that paragraph is citeless moronic drivel. Any Biblical references to these thousands of prophecies? Any-even one (let alone 4-fricken-thousand)-examples of such prophecies coming true? Of course not. These are fundies.

If 4,000 out of 5,000 prophecies have already occurred exactly as the Bible predicted they would, you might want to pay attention to the rest.

Having learnt my lesson about giving fundies the benefit of the doubt, I won’t this time. I’m calling you for what you are, Folger-full of shit.

The good news is that 1.1 million people across California have signed a petition to bring marriage to a vote of the people through a state constitutional amendment (just like 27 other states have done). And guess what? An amendment to a state constitution trumps even the most out-of-control state judiciary. We'll likely know if these signatures are validated before this tyrannical ruling goes into effect, and I predict they will be since they gathered 400,000 more signatures more than they needed to qualify. Besides, they already voted – eight years ago where more than 61 percent of Californians declared marriage as the union of a man and a woman. Now they just need to turn that same language into a constitutional amendment.

So that means that there’s 1.1 million Californians who are so obsessed with what people consent to do with their private lives that they want to deny such people the right to marry. And yet you call the judiciary “tyrannical”…good thing my irony meter is now dead. It would’ve caused a stroke going off a second time.

I don't live in California, so why am I sounding the alarm? Here's why: But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet, and the people are not warned, and the sword comes and takes any person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at the watchman's hand. – Ezekiel 33:6 I'm praying and working to protect marriage in California (and the rest of the country) not only because I care about marriage, but because I care about civilization. And, if we obey God, he just may spare us from the judgment we deserve.

I looked up Noah on Wikipedia:
“When Noah was six hundred years old**, God, seeing man's wickedness which had become abundant in the earth, was saddened, and decided to send a great deluge to destroy disobedient mankind. But He saw that Noah was a righteous man, and instructed him to build an ark and gather himself and his family. And God said to Noah, "Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female." And so the Flood came, and all life was extinguished, except for those who were with Noah, "and the waters prevailed upon the earth for one-hundred and fifty days" until the Ark came to rest on the mountains of Ararat. There Noah built an altar to God (the first altar mentioned in the Bible) and made an offering. "And when the Lord smelled the pleasing odour, the Lord said in his heart, 'I will never again curse the ground because of man, for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I ever again destroy every living creature as I have done. While the earth remains, seed-time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease'.”
So no, Folger. God made it clear that he won’t nearly kill off humanity because of butt-sex. You are either totally ignorant of the Old Testament (which is unlikely, given that fundies ignore what Jesus said about love and compassion and focus on genocide and bigotry of the olde times) or you are lying (much more likely). And if God, assuming he exists, does re-destroy the world, that means that he’s lying. This goes against pretty much everything Jesus said, so out of the three options, I’m going with you being a lying bigot. A bigot and a bully who, out of desperation, has stopped with the “gays seducing our children” argument and has allied herself with the Westboro Church, casting off any hint of Christianity and advocated the notion that gays are the root of all evil. After all, it was the SOLE reason why God destroyed the world, wasn’t it?


*Note: I have nothing against any religious person (except for fundies) and that question was directed solely towards the hardline conservatives who abuse religion to justify their prejudices.
**It also might be a good idea to explain how a human can live at least 600 years thousands of years ago, when old age was 30 years.