Saturday, January 31, 2009

They make "Get in the kitchen, bitch!" sound so empowering for women

Redirected from Warrant Officer F. R. Phoenix, comes this:
A group of conservative Christian women is seeking 100,000 signatures on a "True Woman Manifesto" aimed at sparking a counter-revolution to the feminist movement of the 1960s.

Introduced at a gathering of more than 6,000 women in early October, the document calls not for equal rights, but instead proclaims that men and women are created to reflect God's image in "complementary and distinct ways."

That includes the idea that women are called "to honor and support God-ordained male leadership in the home and in the church."
And from RD:
The terms of the [True Woman] manifesto (downloadable here) serve as a good shorthand description of the aims and principles of the submission and patriarchy movement. Signers affirm their belief that women and men were designed to reflect God in “complementary and distinct ways”; that today’s culture has gone astray distinctly because of its egalitarian approach to gender (and that it’s “experiencing the consequences of abandoning God’s design for men and women”); and that while men and women are equally valuable in the eyes of God, here on earth they are relegated to separate spheres at home and in the church.
What puzzles me (even more so then anti-feminism women, if that's even possible) is that if God designed men and women to suit different roles, how come men and women can perform either role so easily? You'd think if women were practically genetically programed to pump out babies like rabbits and be submissive housewives, they wouldn't be able to hold down a job. Likewise, men would have no ability to cook or clean. But, we do. And in doing so, both genders have blown out of the proverbial water the notion that gender = predetermined role.

And on a final note: if God hates feminism (which, according to these guys and fundies in general), why didn't he stop it in its tracks a 100+ years ago? I thought the guy* was omnipotent.

*And of course, God would have to be a white, heterosexual man. The fact that whites, heterosexuals and men (especially when all three are combined) have brutally dominated the globe is totally coincidental.

Cross-posted here.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


Rummaging through my PC files, I came across some home made motivational posters. Ahhh...memories.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Ultracons are like zombies. They're slow, stupid, and they freak the shit outta me.

During the 08 election, a common anti-Obama chant was 'Nobama' (which was fair enough, considering what his supporters had). I also knew that there was plenty of (and I'll be kind) antipathy towards the candidate. Certainly, nobody else copped 'HE'S UNPATRIOTIC LOOK AT THAT BARE LAPEL/HE'S A MUZZIE LOOK AT HIS SKIN/HE'S A RADICAL LOOK AT THAT GUY WHO BOMBED SHIT WHEN HE WAS A CHILD!!1!'

However (in hindsight for reasons I can't fathom) I thought the most of the American public (and when I say most I mean a decent portion of the staunch Republicans) would at least give President no. 44 some time until his slips and then go at him like a pack of rabid, well, zombies.

In other words: if you want to come off as being a respectable member of the community and still be a hater, you wait until the object of you hatred screws up, and then vent your hatred.

Not the other way round.

Obama's been President for a week, and Hellnobama is trying to impeach him on the grounds of not being a US citizen (Hawaii ain't a real US state!). This is kinda weird, as it wouldn't exactly produce a sudden change in Administrative policies.

Some other highlights:
- quoting the Obama family without citing the quotes.
-Ms. Obama is a racist because she wrote some stuff in 1985.
-preventing illegal abortions (which is the only alternative) is somehow bad.
- Obama has on occasion associated with people who have in their lives done some crazy and shitty things, and this makes him a bad person for not surrounding himself with saints.
- one comment the Prez has made (which has a fair amout of truth to it) about people clinging to guns, and the fact that he likes to remain healthy, makes him a sneering elitist who looks down on the ordinary Joe/Bloe/Shmoe/Sixpack who's doing it tough.
- some people who have supported Obama have been somewhat obsessive and weird (I haven't bothered to read it), and that's his fault.

The list goes on.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

T to the A to the P

Recently, I've bought Casino Royale. (I've also bought 2 seasons of Scrubs, so expect some pics of Judy Reyes soon) And when it comes to Daniel 'Holyjesusmutherfuckinchrististhatbodyforreal?!' Craig, the photos speak for themselves.And of course, who can forget...

To Mr. Craig, the tappiest 40 year old since Arnie in T2.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Oh, joy! I'm gonna check this out for myself!

Yet another Battle of Wellington today. The Battalion of Radical Women, lead by General Debbie, defended by Fertility Control Clinic, armed with nothing more then rhyming chants and a microphone hooked to a loudspeaker. On the other side of the road no-man's land, 60ish fundies quietly prayed to save those little sacks of stem cells, rather then working to save actual children from poverty (which Jesus seemed to spend a lot more time talking about).

However, talking to the General, she stated that the fundies were nowhere near as civil as they appeared to be on our protesting Saturdays. Rather, during weekdays, the fundies would become a little more...overt in their protesting. This and this come to mind in their tactics. Hence, this lowly Private has made plans to return to the Clinic under cover with a camera and and see if these fundies are as crazy as he thinks they are.

Wish me luck, comprades.

Civil Liberty and LSF have interesting articles here and here.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Flag pins are like comic book villains. No matter what happens, they just never frickin' DIE.

After 8 years of George 'FAILPATRIOT' Walker Bush staggering across the world stage like a drunken cowboy, starting fights that he couldn't possibly win and being one the greatest hypocrites regarding human rights, it is fantastic to have President like Obama. However, if there is something about the 44th Man o' the House that make me want to grind my teeth together until there's just gum, its his fashion sense.

Let's take a look at Obama's style. Here's his 2005 Senate portrait:
Here he is in Febuary 2008.
And here's his official Presidential portrait:What irritated me most about Bush's public image wasn't his 'ordinary guy' look and his bumbling comedy acts (both of which helps hide a twisted pandering to the far-right and his total disregard to human rights). It was his pathetic attempts to promote himself as a patriot by practically super gluing american flag to his attire. When Obama won, I hoped that such hollow symbols of patiotism would (as least temporarily) cease.
This isn't to say I mind flag pins, or pins of any kind; I don't. However, then they're put on display every time a person makes a public appearance (as both Pres. 43 and 44 have done and begun doing), it looks stupid. It looks tacky. It looks like they trying to overcompensate for a total lack of any patriotism. And in Obama's case, it looks even worse considering what he said on the issue.
"After a while, you start noticing people wearing a lapel pin, but not acting very patriotic. Not voting to provide veterans with resources that they need. Not voting to make sure that disability payments were coming out on time," he told a crowd in Independence, Iowa. "My attitude is that I'm less concerned about what you're wearing on your lapel than what's in your heart."


"I decided I won't wear that pin on my chest. Instead I'm going to try to tell the American people what I believe what will make this country great and hopefully that will be a testimony to my patriotism."
I may or may not be banging my head against the computer desk in consideration of the flag pin's forseeable future.

Monday, January 19, 2009


To celebrate having gone a whole month without lazily posting other people's work, I think I'll have a Lazyboy Moment. I have no idea how I came across this, but it's hilarious. It's an American anti-Southerner rant with more profanity then a season of South Park. Enjoy.

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Tool of the Year 2008

First of all-apologies to anybody who reads this blog. For the past two weeks I've been doing surveillance work down at Lorne, to see if a barracks can be built without the knowledge of the civilians (long answer short: yes, but only if the civilians are comatose or dead).

But now, onto life:
GrodsCorp is running an 'UnAustralian of the Year' contest. Captain Lefty has already given us his views. Personally, I can't decide who'd be U.A.Y. - however, I do know who'd make 'Tool of the Year.'

A beaming, theocratic chappy who runs by the title of General Fred 'Randall' Nile.

Here why:
Conservative MP Fred Nile says he wants topless bathing banned in NSW to protect Sydney's Muslim and Asian communities.


"Our beaches should be a place where no one is offended, whether it's their religious or cultural views," he said.
That General Nile opposes topless sunbathing is irrelevant to his tooliness. What matters it that he is citing potentially offended Muslims as the reason for supporting the bill. For those in the dark on Aussie Fundies, Nile has, in the past:

- called for Muslims to banned from entering the country.

- displayed an inability to comprehend acts of evil perpetrated by non-Muslims.

- shown total ignorance of the hypocrisy for stating that Australian laws should be based on the Bible, but not on the Qur'an.*

Hence, I nominate Fred Nile as Tool of the Year 2008 for actually believing that he could get away with pretending to care about Muslims' sensibilities.

FDB! also comments on the General.

*if that sentence sounds like I want Sharia Law in Australia, I'll clarify: I don't want any religious laws anywhere.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

George "Jesus sent me" W. Bush: George Wallace of the 21st century.

Good to see that President Super-Christian is no better then his fictional axis of evil.
Alone among major Western nations, the United States has refused to sign a declaration presented Thursday at the United Nations calling for worldwide decriminalization of homosexuality.

In all, 66 of the U.N.'s 192 member countries signed the nonbinding declaration — which backers called a historic step to push the General Assembly to deal more forthrightly with any-gay discrimination. More than 70 U.N. members outlaw homosexuality, and in several of them homosexual acts can be punished by execution.

Co-sponsored by France and the Netherlands, the declaration was signed by all 27 European Union members, as well as Japan, Australia, Mexico and three dozen other countries. There was broad opposition from Muslim nations, and the United States refused to sign, indicating that some parts of the declaration raised legal questions that needed further review.

However, President Bush justified the decision, stating that the US was still the strongest supporter of human rights. "The fact that the the US is agreeing the the nations that I once called the 'axis of evil' several years ago is irrelevant. What matters is that America-which I have now legally renamed Liberty Land-doesn't actively execute gays. Iran and all other Islamist states do. That puts their human rights record slightly below ours-Abu Ghraib and Gitmo notwithstanding-and gives Liberty Land and all other freedom loving nations the duty to criticise these axisis [sic] of evil while not recognising one iota of hypocrisy. Shit, I've spent my whole Presidency wiretapping without warrents, lying through my teeth to launch my psycho-Christian crusade against perceived enemies who had nothing to do with 9/11, trampling over the UN's declaration of human rights whilst shoe-horning 'freedom' as many times as possible into my speeches-"

At that point, Mr. Bush had turned blue from oxygen deprivation and collapsed. After recovering, Mr. Bush stated "Endorsing the worst incarnation of homophobia is neither a surprise nor a low point for this Administeration."

The Pope, who has also opposed the declaration, praised America for its stance. "Alone stands America, which is now sole Western nation that has refused to accept filth and decadency as morality. However, we believe that this will change soon, as I, under God's Will, assume Supreme Leadership from all current leaders, and unite the individual countries of the world in a glorious new Empire!" At that point, Force lightning ignited from the Pope's fingertips and and he killed the surrounding reporters, before declaring himself Emperor.
OK, so everything below the first three paragraphs is mine. The first part is unchanged; that Bush has nothing against the state-sanctioned execution of gays. Hmmm...where have I heard that before?

Hank and the Phoenix cross-post this here and here.