Sunday, December 27, 2009

This is what censorship looks like

Because General Keyboard does it so perfectly, I'll pretty much copy it.

If you want to see Tienanmen Square, click here. If you want to see Tienanmen Square minus the Massacre, click here.

This is also great.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

An introduction to Peanuts

Ever since the GrodsSoldier died and the Dogfighter took its place, I've been meaning to show why I meant by 'Peanuts.' Peanuts was a central aspect of my youth. Having inherited many books from General Father and his peers, I progressed into a mildly fanatical die-hard fan, and I am still collecting today. Rather than try to explain what Peanuts is, I'll instead show what it is (when I find some of the flying ace, I'll put them up).

Good memories.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

T to the A to the P: the Michelle edition.

First, there was General Bron's Mr. Obama. For Admiral Phoenix, I have selected for her Mr. John 'The REAL Captain Jack' Barrowman.

If I ever find Anything Goes at the flea market, I'll be sure to buy it.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Conversations with a racist

And in which I finally complete my internet persona: Private Tom D. Beagle.*

Thankfully, I have never met any explicitly racist people in person. I see them only in the media outlets, indulging themselves in hatred of the minority of the decade. Most (actually, all) racists are cowards, the type of people who will gleefully assault anybody when their back is turned, but will beg for mercy if the odds ever turn against them. This is by and large a fine thing, because of racists didn’t care for the consequences of their actions there would be a great many more assaults against people of colour and differing cultures.

However, one racist (and most likely neo-Nazi, judging by the anti-Semitism), for reasons entirely unbeknownst to me, decided to contact me over my facebook profile. I don’t know who Mr. ‘Save Your Race’ (his actual facebook name. How that got past the moderators is beyond me) is, and I don’t think I will ever meet him (to my eternal gratitude), but the conversation between us is quite revealing is his paranoia and unshakable belief in his conspiracy theories, and the general snark I direct towards those who I have nothing by total contempt for. All grammar and spelling mistakes are preserved. And yes, those nine words are how he started the conversation.
Mr. Race: your a dickhead. so are you a sheep or a lefty commie

Mr. Beagle: Judging by your name and your terrible grammar, I'd say you're a Klansman?

Mr. Race: Oh yes ... thats right. And judging by your pic you are a nob. Hay lefty we wont forget whom turned on our own culture.

Mr. Beagle: My culture is one of equality, love, acceptance and egalitarianism. Your culture, if your name is anything to by, is one of paranoia, violence, and raw hatred.

Mr. Race: Ok then you are a sheep. With a view that has been taught to you. The movies that lower our morals and the shit fatty food that poisons our race and make it harder for an increasing amount of women to fall pregnant. Do u at least except that the way the white culture is going it wont exist in 50 years depending on were you live in the globe. You talk down to someone you know nothing about, so i would have to assume your the ignorant one. Have not mention violence in anyway. Hatred whom do i hate. People that will over flow my own country with in ten years and leave the white population a minority that will make my family's life very dangerous to live in the area i was born in and grew up in. I’m afraid the day you work out you were wrong your so called friends from different races will show you that all though they benefit more then whites they wont actually practice it them selves. They will in turn however breed huge families and live in ghettos where white people are not safe to go. And leach of the welfare state my white culture has created. Egalitarianism = socialism.

Mr. Beagle: Did you learn all that from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion? Please tell me what movies lower our morals (let me guess: any film featuring a non-white). As for your 'fast-food outlets are in league with the communists, Jews and race-mixers' conspiracy-in most countries (certainly, in America and to a lesser extend Australia), those most affected by fast-food and obesity are African-American communities. I find in mildly ironic that you say I "talk down" to you, given that you began this conversation with "your [sic] a dickhead".

Regarding multiculturalism and violence; I suggest you go down to Dandenong. You'll see for yourself how "dangerous" it is to live there.
I know paranoia is a hallmark of racism, but I think you've outdone even Hitler's standards. White people are majority in Australia. New Zealand, Canada, America, Britain and all of Western and Eastern Europe. Despite your delusional persecution fantasies, whitefolk are not in a danger of 'dying out' and, judging by our numbers, won't ever be. Your "Egalitarianism = socialism" is hilarious in its ludicrousness. The Tea Party protester have a greater understanding of socialism than you do. Go to a library, borrow a few books on socialism and Marxism, and come back when you have a clue. And on a final note, we have paragraphs, apostrophes and spell check for good reasons. Use them.

Mr. Race: I will make this easy for you to read then. The elders of Zion= Yes i would say it is probably true. Fast food = Rich people who like you have no national interest or even understand the principle of it. They are killing my people just to make money. Communist Jews = look into that. Do you understand how there connected? You’re a sheep that believes in Egalitarianism. Seriously i doubt you will believe that by the time your 50.

Then there is this= Regarding multiculturalism and violence; I suggest you go down to Dandenong. You'll see for yourself how "dangerous" it is to live there. ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? What does that mean. You except there are a problem???? Not sure how you see that and don’t get there is a problem. Please don’t waste your time saying its poverty.

Then there is this= I know paranoia is a hallmark of racism, but I think you've outdone even Hitler's standards. White people are majority in Australia. New Zealand, Canada, America, Britain and all of Western and Eastern Europe. Despite your delusional persecution fantasies, white folk are not in a danger of 'dying out' and, judging by our numbers, won't ever be.

That was true 50 years ago. No longer the case. Europe has huge problems with third world immigration. As does Canada and Britain. This comment alone shows how little you know. Its ok i can see you are young but the problem is we don’t have time for sheep like to work it out.

Arab families on average have 7 - 8 kids, Australian beauro of stats will back that as well as 67 percent of Arab man between 18- 65 are on welfare. We on the other hand have 1 2 or 3 at most you do the maths. Then we have white man whom run of with Asian females. That is a huge worry.

Whites have a low birth rate everywhere. It’s the same story worldwide. In Sydney there are suburbs where white were the majority only ten years ago that are now 90 percent ethnics.

And finally you mention my spelling even though you understood every thing i said. First point if im wrong just worry about correcting my way of thinking, the fact that you even attack my spelling and grammar makes you argument look weak.
Not to mention you made an error your self last time lol dickhead. And I left spaces so you had a chance to stop and let your brain catch up.

Mr. Beagle: Thank goodness you've discovered the 'enter' key. Now all you'll need to learn how to use apostrophes, and you'll be well on your way to passing grade 5 english. Zion? Proven forgery. The Bible is more historically accurate. Egalitarianism is a principle of human equality-no doubt you think equality is evil. I never said countries don't have immigration issues-certainly some do (France springs to mind). However, the concept that whitey is going to die out is total paranoia. If you start making claims about statistics, I wouldn't mind a few links (I assume you can copy and paste). As for your 'white boy/asian girl' paranoia, what business is it of yours as to who goes out with who?

Mr. Race: I think its safe to say you agree with me then. You are just too ignorant to realise how bad things are. Sydney will have no white people left there in 20 years time.
I don’t really care if the whole Zion story is true. As i have seen enough of the Zionist movement to know that the whole creating Israel part was true. And the bible is another Jewish movement like all the "ism movements" they created to control us goym or gentiles.

I have nothing against everyone been given a fair chance as long as it’s for my own culture. I don’t want other people from other countries being put first before Aussies. And that is happening all the time. Your whole Egalitarianism principle is a pipe dream. I don’t think you have any real life experience to understand that.

Don’t mention France the fact that you understand that, and i even have to argue with you makes you look stupid, not as stupid as the hat in your picture but close.

As for the links i will back up my facts ASAP.
And last but not least. You will get to see for your self everything i have said is true. Asians have the ability to swamp this country and the fact that huge amounts of white man are breeding with another races with only sped that process up. But i think you already get what i mean. You just can’t get a white chick so you had to fuck a monkey instead. And i wont be correcting my spelling mistakes. Go fuck your self.
After that, I simply didn’t bother responding. Mr. Race was a raving lunatic, and to misquote Darp, “calling him batshit is an insult to bat guano fetishists everywhere; calling him fruitloops is an insult to anything fruity with a hole in the middle etc etc…” However, Mr. Race wasn’t done venting his spleen over me, and emailed me again, beginning with a reference to my profile picture:
Mr. Race: thank god you got rid pof the hat pic. Now grow a brain and save your culture. I dont want to have to repeat myself.

Mr. Beagle:I can image you wouldn't. Typing, when you only have bloody stumps from a life of knuckle-dragging, must be very difficult. I certainly haven't forgotten your cruel comments from our previous conversation. I must ask-what happened that turned you into such a monster? Did you white girlfriend dump you for a darkie? Mugged by a Lebo? Or was it good ol' neo-Nazi indoctrination from the cradle? Enlighten me.

Mr. Race:I am not a monster. Im doing your family a favour by standing up for our culture. You on the other hand are quite happy to keep your head in the sand. Lebo's gang up on aussies here all the time. We no longer own sydney your town will be next. One day you will see that your ideas are wrong. As for Hitler he went up against the bankers thats why he is known as the most eveil man to ever walk the face of this earth. Does nto matter that others have killed far more cause they dont have hollywood against them. I surpose you still beleive the globe is warming aswell. And i must say chack your spelling that last comment was bad even for you. And the picture of you and your sister is gross. Put the hat back on lefty.

Mr. Beagle: Stop referring to 'our' culture, as my culture is quite different to yours. Hitler may not have killed the most people, but as far as raw genocide goes, he is by far the worst. You don't try to exterminate an entire people in gas chambers and be seen as a hero for it. As for climate change, yes, I'd say it is happening. Pardon me for listening to those thousands of scientists who are presenting the evidence. Of course, given that you refer to black people as 'monkeys', you'd know all about ignoring science. Finally, that is a friend of mine, not a relative. I presume you thought we were siblings because it's quite obvious your parents were.

Mr. Race: You live here in australia as do i so we have the same culture.Raw genocide lol raw brainwashing more like it. Hitler had to lock the jews up as they are extremly sly and made germany lose the first world war so the allies would give them Israel. And thousands of scientists also agree that the globe stopped warming in 1998. Your tv wont teach you that so i geuse you will be wrong for a long time to come. In the 1970's we were going to freze to death in the 1990's we had a whole in the ozone now we have carbon taxing so we white people can pay third world shit wholes more money that they can waste with the badly corrupted countries. Listen to 2gb 873 am from sydney around the same time as now they can help your brainwashed ways. Seriously you just beleive every thing. You know santa's not real right.

Mr. Beagle: It's quite hilarious, you stating that I "just beleive [sic] every thing [sic]" whilst believing in ludicrous conspiracy theories. The first world war had bugger-all to do with Israel-that state was formed after the second world war. The ignorance, stupidity and hate, it burns.

Mr. Race: Ok look i get why you dont undrstand. But world war one and two were directly linked to The state of Israel. Did you think they just woke up one day and decided to invade Palistine. The jews were being sent there by hitler as well. The british controlled Palistine before the jews took over.

Now here is a lesson for you . 1n 1916 Germany was winning the war, the zionist jews offered the allies america if they gave them israel. Now how do you think they did that. Cause at the time american was very neutral. The media conned america and took her to war. And if you dont beleive it, research it and you will see that your brainwashed verion of history is far removed to what actually happen. I dont agree with the mass slaughter of any human beings but that does stopped you from thinking that just cause i dont agree with you.

Ok research this - its proven fact. Its not just from Nazie website. Your in the matrix now , take the plug out of your head and learn. This thing shows you realy have no idea about world history is these two words. Balfour Declaration ....

The ignorance, stupidity and hate, it burns. Funny fuck ,,,in other words baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa you fucking sheep

Mr. Beagle: Or maybe Germany lost the war because it was fighting on two fronts (East and West). What is it with you and Jews? Can't you use a different scapegoat,just for a change?

Mr. Race: Ok please just refer to last point did you look into the balfour declaration at all. The media is whom taught you that anyone who says anything about the Jews are nuts, when realistically they have been causing trouble for hundreds of years look into the Russian revolution. But also go back to the part about world war one you have to understand how easy it is for the Jews with their media control to control us. It is obvious if you look into it. I do say racist comment, it come out of frustration from people like you whom are completely brainwashed. Our education system is a joke, our children run muck. Our movies are immoral our politicianwork for big business. Our music has five year old girls acting like strippers after watching lady gaga and britney spear, The Jews and the lefties are behind most if not all of that. Once you have had your bubble burst there is no turning back. Unless of course you don’t care about your country or people. Then all is lost with YOU. Not all Jews are bad. Just the Zionist. I have two friends whom are Jews. One of them agrees about this more then i do the other one is like you.
Again, after this, I didn’t bother. As it is quite clear, I regularly read FightDemBack!, and so have a rough idea of what constitutes the average neo-Nazi’s mind. To remisquote Darp, Mr. Race is as “mad as a cut snake. As a meat axe. Bananas. He’s a broken packet of biscuits, as ugly as a box of blowflies, and he couldn’t organise a root in a brothel. Of course, with an ideology that handles like a dog on lino, it’s no wonder he’s got kangaroos loose in the top paddock. Or to put it another way: the lights are on but nobody’s home (the mystery bag that passes for his brain is empty) and consequently he feels like a pork chop in a synagogue. And despite this bloke not being the full quid / a snag short of a barbie / a couple of tinnies short of a slab, he still claims to be as proud as a rat with a gold tooth!”

Thankfully, Mr. Race has found a new target to irritate, as he no longer sends random emails. The exchange, although brief, was a fascinating insight to a person who is governed by his basest, most regressive instincts humankind is capable of, whose mind is trapped within an inescapable maze of conspiracies, who blames everything wrong in his life on minority groups, and who would probably murder every Jew and person of colour he could find if he weren't such a sniveling coward hiding behind a pathetic screen name.

Here's hoping Mr. Race goes the way of Derek Vinyard.

* Middle name may spontaneously change depending on my whimsical tastes. As of now I like 'Delano' but Wilson, Walter, Raphael, Leonardo, Charlie, Woodrow and William are also possible.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Tool of the Year 2009

Earlier this year, Military HQ hosted an ‘Unaustralian of the Year.’ Not to be outdone, I instead hosted ‘Tool of the Year 2008’, for that special someone who wasn’t simply Unaustralian, but a hypocrite and asshole to boot. The winner was Fred ‘Boobies are Satan’s pillowsNile, who had the gal to ruthlessly demonise the Muslim-Australian community, and then turn around and claim to be representing Muslim interests. Like I said, a hypocrite and an asshole.

As 2009 comes to an end, I need to pick another TOTY. There were a number of contenders (Rudd, Minchin, Nile again, Tuckey, ) but only one person could fulfill that vomit-inducing combination of tooliness.

Namely, Fred Nile, again. And for very similar reasons he won last year. It may seem unfair that Nile win again, given that Kevin “Should I commit to human rights for refugees, or try and peel some votes off the ‘Howard racists’ voting bloc? Too late-found the dog whistle!” Rudd certainly came close. However, Nile wins again simply for outdoing himself this year.

Recently, a CDP operative was revealed to have made a string of abusive and derogatory remarks about Muslims in a few email exchanges. If they were about Jews, he wouldn’t have been so much criticized as booted out of the country. The CDP went into damage control, with Nile himself saying the party “disassociates itself completely" from the comments, ''which we totally reject. No one deserves to be subjected to such language and insult.'' However, one should look at some of Freddy’s ideas about domestic policies and Muslims: ban them from the military, and deport them.

So the TOTY medal must to go Fred ‘dy Kruger’ Nile, for critisising a CDP member for remarks that are, although cruder, still no less ostracizing than his own writings. Maybe Nile should apply the Wallace test to himself, and then actually asking “WWJD” before revelling in his hatred of the Other.

However, Nile also receives the runner-up prize for TOTY, for his views on women. Fred says he is "concerned
about the sexual exploitation of women in our society." This 'concern' of course, is more about women having reproductive and sexual freedom than anything else. Nile states that the Greens "sexually objectify" women through their civil libertarian policies on sex, that that this is damaging to women. However, Nile has shown exactly what he thinks of women, regarding women serving in the military:
"Combat roles will also expose female soldiers to gunshot injuries, which could prevent them from being able to bear children."
Women: nothing they do or contribute towards society is more important than being a baby factory. This alone could win Nile TOTY 2010.

Hattip to Orville Strayan.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

The personal and the political

As the various posts under G-BIT can testify to, I am entire pro-gay rights. On marriage, anti-discrimination, child adoption, etc, I am on the side of equality and social justice. On the opposing trench of the culture war are the ‘mo foes: from secular rednecks who believe gays to be ‘sick’ to religulous folk who believe Leviticus 20:33 to be the entirety of the Bible.

Previously, I’ve seen this as a political issue; that of social justice and human rights prevailing over logical fallacies and moral self-righteousness. As gay issues don’t affect me directly, I’ve never seen them as a personal matter. However, this has now changed. One of my friends came out recently (alright, so it was actually months ago, but I’m lazy, OK?). Now, for me, the issue of gay rights suddenly has a face. What was once merely a political movement is now a fellow human being (from now on known as Miss A), who is still a second-class citizen because the cowardly government is too afraid to do what is right, for fear that it will lose the Christian Right vote. Even though passing pro-gay rights legislation (such as those mentioned previously) would in fact be popular and probably boost the ALP’s vote, the party’s ear is firmly tied to that of people and organisations who dedicate their lives to ruining those of others (hmmm, what does THAT remind me of?).

As the title suggests, what was once a political issue has now become very personal. There are people who believe Miss A isn’t worthy of the same basic human rights they take for granted; that she is fundamentally evil human being because of something as otherwise trivial as her sexual orientation. Understandably, I take this as personally as she does. For this reason, the brutality and hatred that lies within the anti-gay populace now seems much harsher and more pointed than it previously did. The good folks at the CDP, the ACL and the AFA want to force Miss A back into the closet so she fits into their myopic view of ‘family’. If she resists, this same folk have set up organisations to ‘cure’ her of her orientation. These ‘pro-family’ forces have the capacity to do tremendous damage to Miss A’s life if they have their ways in gay rights legislation, and, on a wider scale, Australian society’s views on gay rights.

And that’s where the ‘pro-family’ hypocrisy of these organisations comes to an absolute head; they are entirely anti-family. These organisations work to divide parents against their children by repeating countless lies about homosexuality-that it is evil, that it is changeable, that it is the product of emotional child abuse, and so on. This has broken up countless families as misguided parents have rejected their children. If Miss A ever wants to start a family of her own, these same ‘pro-family’ groups will fight tooth-and-nail to prevent her from getting married, undergoing IMF treatment or adopting children, under the mantra that depriving gays of their rights is best for children and society.

Ultimately, Miss A has done me a tremendous favour-not simply for being the fine person and friend she is, but-for me-giving only the strongest reason to remain committed to the rights of gays, bis, intersexes and transgenders. Thankfully, if past civil rights movements are anything to go by, time is is most certainly on our side.

The Liberal Party and the political wilderness

I can't say I don't enjoy watching the Liberal party tear itself apart these days. The moderates-Turnbull, Hockey, Robb-desperately trying to keep the party together, whilst Mad Monks, Mavericks and Crazy Uncles are doing their best to keep the Coalition as unelectable as possible is better than most paid entertainment.

The one thing possibly better than this is the quiet knowledge is that this is the result of the Australian Reagan, John 'the Rodent' Howard. His desperate refusal to hand the reigns to Costello and his push to the far-right (economically speaking) with WorkChoices doomed the Liberal Party to defeat. His refusal to sort out the factional war between the small-l Liberals (such as the green Turnbull and humanitarian Georgio) and the hard-right Liberals (Abbott, Tuckey, all of the Nationals) meant that these factions would inevitably turn on each other in defeat, and will doom the party to many years in Opposition. That the Liberals' lord and saviour could become their Reaper is a truly scrumptious thought.

As far as I can tell, there are two predominant factors that led to that fateful defeat now two years ago; Australia's political apathy being broken by climate change and WorkChoices, and Labor's leader. Kim Beazley was to Labor as Brendon Nelson was to the Liberals; would make a solid frontbencher with a sizable portfolio, but fundamentally unelectable as leader. This helped Labor lose the 1998 and 2001 elections. Later, Labor went in the opposite direction with Latham, which scared the electorate so much Howard was handed the balance of power.

Australia apathy enabled Howard to survive despite the corruption that his government enabled; children overboard, Iraq, the dogged refusal to accept responsibility and the his indifference towards Indigenous Australians to name a few. In his last term, however, a 'perfect storm' began to build. WorkChoices wasn't selling; it was turning many voters off. Then, the issue of climate change finally hit with bushfires and the ongoing drought. All of a sudden, voters were shaken from their sleep and didn't like the government they saw; screwing over the workers and the environment to please big business and big coal. 'Good economic management' wasn't worth this.
Finally, Labor put forward Rudd, an electable, pleasant-looking leader, who rivalled Howard in political smarts; differing from the Liberals in climate, industrial relation and Indigenous policies, and the same everywhere else, thus maximising ALP chances. Labor was now electable. Howard tried to remake himself as more of a lefty by making 'aspirational' carbon-reducing goals and placing Indigenous Australians in the preamble of the constitution, but it (thankfully) wasn't enough. The only slim chance Howard had was to resign and allow the slighty-less-unlikeable Costello to run, but the Rodent enjoyed the power too much to give it up. After all, what if Costello was able to win? Howard would become the coward to jumped ship when it all became too difficult, with Costello becoming the new Reagan. And that simply wouldn't do. Instead, Howard took the party to the inevitable defeat. Quickly after, most of the brain-Howard, Costello, Downer-jumped the sinking ship

So now, the Liberals are in disarray, pulled at the seams by the warring factions. The only way for the party to pull itself together is (ironically) to tear off the rotten limbs-splitting from the Nationals, and purging the party itself of the hard-right. They'd be more at home in the DLP or One Nation anyway. The moderates, however, are unable and unwilling to do so. The Tuckeys and (Bronwyn) Bishops are called 'Howardites' for a clear reason; mindless loyalty to the dear leader. Turnbull, as much as he may want to modernise the party, knows that doing so would be seen as a betrayal of Howard's principles. This would reduce the party's support from the right, which is unfathomable, as Labor has already reduced Liberal (and next year, is set to take more) from the centre.

Hopefully, the Liberals' reformation won't happen for a long time. Labor, in Rudd's me-tooing push, now occupies most of the Liberal party's positions (tax cuts and marriage, anyone?) and is establishing itself, if anything, as the mainstream conservative party. With the Liberal party floundering, the Greens have a chance to fill left-wing party vacuum. Here's hoping they take it.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Super fun happy lucky Higgins by-election candidate summery!

Yesterday, most of the Higgins candidates meet with a few community members, who answered various questions regarding climate change. Party-wise, there was the Sex Party, the Greens and One Nation, whilst several Independents spiced up the evening with their zaniness. Disappointingly, Kelly ‘Runner-up in the Bronwyn Bishop lookalike contest’ O’Dwyer, John ‘familyfamilyfamily’ Mulholland of the DLP and Isaac ‘fight tha power!’ Roberts of the Liberal Democrats weren’t there. In hindsight, that's probably a good thing, as Kelly and a certain anarchist Independent would've probably killed each other.

Fiona Patten, Australian Sex Party:
Excellent. Presented herself extremely well, stating that she was no expert and relied on the climatologists to tell her what was going on. Was very friendly and approachable (I even got to talk to her! **squeals like a six year old**). 9/10.

David Collyer, Australian Democrats:
Fine representative for the Dems. During one of his speeches, made a statement along the lines of “If the scientists are wrong, then we’ve merely pushed for green living earlier than we would have. If the scientists are right, then we only have on chance at this” which was brilliant. Only problem was that he quite often referred to Democrats’ green successes in the past (such as on the Franklin River), which came across as mildly wanky. 8/10.

Steve Raskovy, One Nation:
It took a while to get over the thought of a Hungarian refugee standing for One Nation, but he did a decent job on climate issues. Only problem was that he took a while to actually answer questions, which grew rather annoying. Delivered one of my favourite quotes for the night-“Water is the blood of the earth.” 7/10.

Joseph Toscano, Independent
Anarchist and self-proclaimed “radical”, was popular in his often snarky attitude (such as referring to Steve Murphy, a climate change sceptic as a “flat-earther”). Gave some excellent remarks, such as, regarding the coal industry’s free carbon credits, “People are compensated for doing the right thing. Coal companies are the only thing in the world which are compensated for doing the wrong thing!” Humourously, got on extremely well with ideologically-opposed One Nation's Steve. 8.5/10.

Steve Murphy, Independent:
To give Steve credit, he came to a climate change forum knowing that he would be extremely unpopular (if not lynched). Understandably, he was usually on the defence, but did a reasonable job at defending his policies, despite the constant jeering he suffered. 7.5/10.

Clive Hamilton, Australian Greens:
Ironically, out of all the candidates, I remember Clive's performance the least. However, I can’t remember anything terrible he said, and he cleared up the Holocaust comments from an article in Crikey, which I feel was important (given that the comments, wrongly interpreted, did sound very extreme). 8.2/10.

Peter Brohier, Independent:
There’s no way this guy isn’t a cover for the CEC. 2/10.

And that's a wrap. Chances are, I'll be voting 1. Greens, 2. Democrats, 3. Sex Party, 4. Joseph, 5. Liberal Dems, 6. Peter, 7. Liberals, 8. DLP, 9. One Nation and 10. Steve.

Monday, November 16, 2009

OK conservatives, I'll make a deal with you.

The Left will stop 'worshipping' Obama when you lot relieve yourselves of your collective, undying hard on for Reagan.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

What's wrong with a little mob rule?

Just when you thought raw Labor incompetence had pushed all swing voters (briefly) into the Liberal camp, the coalition still manages to fuck it up. This time, Ted and co have gone into popularist meltdown, directly appealing to mob mentality by allowing juries to determine sentences.

There isn't much for me to write on this subject, given that Captain Lefty has done all the work for me*. Even so, this isn't so much as shocking policy (which I'll get to) as it is what I call 'base populism.' That is, a political party will adopt a populist policy that appeals to a person's basest instincts; in this case, brutal vengeance. This is a clear sign that Vic Libs are as adrift now as they were ten years ago. Instead of designing a political platform to challenge Labor (paradoxically both easy and hard, given Labor's current incompetence, and that the political differences between the two parties are wafer-thin), Ballieu has gone for the easiest option of appealing to an angry mob.

And now for the policy itself: this is some serious FAIL. The types of Australians who make up juries (myself included) have very little idea of how sentences are determined. Certain parallels can be drawn to the Queensland Libnats and their idea of allowing volunteers to work with the mentally ill. That is, people who don't have the proper qualifications would be put in situations where you need proper qualifications in order to properly handle said situation.

Here, a 'race to the top' of ridiculously harsh sentences is inevitable. Judges are under pressure to increase sentences, lest they be branded as 'out of touch' and 'soft on crime' by the media barons that be. As Captain Lefty has pointed out, News Ltd readers have an exceptionally poor knowledge of what sentences actually constitute-as far as they are concerned, anything less than life imprisonment in an Indonesian jail is getting off scott free. And I'm willing to bet my fictional fighter plane that life imprisonment in the closest Australia has to an Indonesian jail is exactly what these uninformed juries would advocate for.

Jeez, Ballieu, I know that between John Hewson and Jeff Kennett, Liberals are terrific at losing unloseble elections (not that I'm complaining), but they've always done it by accident. There's no need to try to lose next years election; the factions will do that for you.

*Wordpress would be much less of a pain in the arse if clicking on a tag took you to a list of that blog's posts under that tag, not the entire-fucking-ty of wordpress itself.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

“Give them enough rope and they’ll hang themselves.”

I first read that quote in Naughty Stories for Good Boys and Girls, although it applies equally well for racist politicians trying to enter the mainstream debate. Enter Nick “ destroying this and every other white nation in the world” Griffin, Grand High Wizard of the KKK British National Party.

Recently, Griffin appeared on Question Time, a BBC panel show featuring political figures from across the spectrum. During the show, he made various hilarious statements-most notably, that the Ku Klux Klan is "non-violent" and that he does “not have a conviction for Holocaust denial.”

That quote exposes the problem for the Fuhrer and his party; that they are fundamentally too extreme. The reason for the BNP’s increased vote is due to widespread disillusion at the major parties (Labour, Conservatives, Liberal Dems) and the extensive corruption that their MPs have shown. Hence, the increased support for the BNP is more of a protest vote than anything else. But when Nick goes on national television and gives openly sympathises with one of the most infamous white supremacist organisations in history, that create serious problems of allegiance for all BNP voters outside of the hatecore bonehead supporters.

Nick, in his Holocaust statement was clearly trying to have his cake and eat it too: not explicitly denying the Holocaust, but still sending a message to the Brownshirts watching at home that he’s still a died-in-the-wool anti-Semite. The BNP, when previously quizzed on its openly neo-Nazi views, stated that, its political ideals have shifted over time and that the Party is more moderate than before (see point vii). Statements such their leader, however, expose how superficial Nick’s shift to the centre is.

That's why I think giving the BNP this sort of publicity is needed, as it exposes the Party for what it is: a front for neo-Nazism. Gordon Brown stated “We’ve got a duty to expose the BNP for what are racist and sectarian politics.” I agree entirely; give Nick enough time on air, and the BNP’s support will implode harder than One Nation (although hopefully for different reasons).

Friday, October 16, 2009

Mr. 1.9%: the Senate's village idiot.

Steve Fielding doesn't like Greens. I have an impressive collection of articles in which Mr. Morality launches childish attack after childish attack, each of which is unsatirable* in its petty partisanship and amateurism. The Bongmeister, however, has come to the conclusion that these past works are too subtle for his Christian base. Thus, Stevie has dropped all flimsy pretenses of professionalism and gone for the lowest, crudest and downright laughable smear he can imagine:
Says the fellow who's sole economic policy consists of cutting the petrol tax. I know Steve lives in the 14th Century, but that's no excuse for not using the caps lock hey.
The Greens would rather send Australia back to the Stone Age than use common sense in negotiating on an Emissions Trading Scheme, Family First Leader Senator Steve Fielding said today.
“I don’t know what planet the Greens are on, but by the look of their ‘Safe Climate Bill’ they look like they're lost in space,” Senator Fielding said.
I don't know what Steve was gunning for with those space puns-it's not like NASA is involved. Anyway, the rest of the piece is utterly juvenile-calling Bob and co. "hippies" and sloppy accusations of hypocrisy-by using planes, no less. I don't know how Greens Senators are supposed to travel in a less gas-emitting way, given that planes are a form of public transport. I presume Fielding also think Bob is a hypocrite because he emits carbon emissions by breathing.

But seriously, I can't understand what Steve expect to gain from schlock like this. Anyone even considering voting Green is sufficiently left-wing as to dismiss Fundies First as a group of fringe nutters, and vice-versa for FF voters. If anything, Steve is alienating what incomprehensibly tiny support base he has by acting like like such a jerk. Compare this release to what freshman/woman Senators Ludlam and Hanson-Young have produced. These political youngens have only been in Parliament since July 2008, yet they have displayed a political professionalism that completely outstripes Steve (and most major party backbenchers as well, to be honest). The Fluke is a child in a grownups' world: he stumbled into the Senate through luck and Labor's cynicism, was irrelevent from 04 to 07, and, now having been thrust into the balance-of-power limelight, has demonstrated that he hasn't a clue in parliamentary processes. Steve knows that he has barely a hope of re-election on primary votes-barely being the operative word-and has resorted to stunt after stunt in the vain hopes that he will increase the visability of his party enough to scrap in a re-election.

I, like all groupthing lefties, simply cannot wait for the 2010 election. Asides from an anti-Greens propaganda overdrive from all parties (which will be a joy to read, I can assure you all), Rudd has shown that he is a skilled and shrewd politician. The likelihood of Labor preferencing the Fundies in 2010 is infinitesimal, especially how much Steve has pissed Kevin off (Medicare levies, alcopops taxes and luxary car taxes, anybody?). Labor is a right-wing government, but Rudd knows that the Greens are a better deal than Steve, and that's where Labor's 2010 preferences will be heading. To humbly quote Field Marshall Editor: Steve: you and your Pentecostal mates are headed for the political dustbin of history and no stunt on Earth is going to save you. Perhaps when you fail to get re-elected in a couple of years you could work for Today Tonight.

Cross-posted at Officer Cadet Orville Strayan.

Various article goodies found here, here and here.

*That's a word, OK?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Selective outrage

All of a sudden, Australia is now considered a racist country (I'd have thought it was more to do to with anti-immigration hysteria, cronulla, camdem etc, but apparently not). It's due to a skit on Hey Hey it's Saturday, featuring five people dressed in blackface (and one in whiteface) portraying the Jackson5. Blackface, for the uninformed, is historically a highly racist form of humour using black stereotypes to grab some cheap laughs from the audience. In this case, of course, the outrage is laughable. Of course they're going to paint their faces black! They're pretending to be black singers! What are they supposed to do-go onstage in afros and pasty white skin? How crap would that look? Sometimes, it feels like Oz is adopting all the worst traits from all the other Western countries-the hard-right racism of the US, yet also the uptight-PCness of Britain. Gawd, now that's embarrasing.

And you know what? For all the outrage and horror, everybody seems to have missed this:

What's wrong? Not outragable enough?

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

T to the A to the P: the second heterosexual edition

Because hiatus is no reason for a good sex post.

Ladies seem to get a poor run on this blog. It’s rather ironic, given that I’m straight(ish), that there are (as of this post) two dolls to six dudes. But there is a surprisingly simple explanation for the lack of chicks; namely, that photos of the honeys tend to be rather dull. It’s just bikini shot after bikini shot after bikini shot. Not that I’m necessarily complaining, but I wouldn’t mind a touch of variety when viewing various sexy dames. Thus, when broads do get a mention on Dogfighter, I prefer to focus on more stereotypically ‘artistic’ shots of lassies (much to Colonel Jester’s chagrin, I’m sure). If you want photos of skirts in very little other than a skirt, Goggle Images will gladly satisfy your perverted desires. But anyway; this time, I’ll be showing on Jessica ‘
Joy’ Alba. She is most well known for roles in Dark Angel, Sin City and the Fantastic Four. But who cares, ‘cause I just wikied her and she’s a freakin’ liberal!