Analogies so brilliant they may cause my pants to explode.

Not that I'm a narcissist or anything.

Recently, Admiral Phoenix has commentated on two issues regarding womens' reproductive freedoms. The first is that American pharmacy workers must sell contraceptives, regardless of whether they personally oppose to selling such products due to religious beliefs.

The second issue regards the an Ohio Republican trying to prevent women from seeking abortion on the grounds of fathers' rights. Long story short: if the mother wants to terminate and the father doesn't, his beliefs override both her beliefs and her rights to privacy and autonomy.

Regarding the contraceptives, I wrote

If a cashier refused to scan meat products because they were a vegetarian, they'd be fired, then laughed from the building.

And concerning abortion, I wrote

How's this for an idea: all newborn boys undergo a vasectomy, and can only reverse it if they have the signed permission of his partner.

Could you imagine THAT getting through the legislature?

Yup, my pants just exploded.